Am an African not because I was born in africa, but because Africa was born in me.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

"So when are you getting married????" (the inevitable question)



I have been thinking a lot about how most African cultures (Zambia in particular) value marriage at an extent were it's almost sickening, for women it's even more shocking how much pressure they face when they reach a certain age, from endless wedding invitations, to cousins and friends your age getting married and having babies and of course those inquisitive aunts at family gatherings who think you shouldn't be single and childless in your thirties. Because to them a woman is marriage and popping out babies, and if you try to walk away from the norm it doesn't go down well with most African families. I have heard of some women who after finding a man call home to their mothers to announce they've found a job! (Okay I will save that story for another day). But our culture and those down right irritating aunts need to come to terms with the paradox of our time, and the paradox of our time is that we have more and more women deciding to be single mothers...despite the world labeling their kids as illegitimate because their mother isn't married,and the word 'wedlock' is soon becoming outdated because of these new breeds of 'yummy mummies'. Today we have more men and women deciding to live together without marriage commitments written on their foreheads (think Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, okay maybe without that football team they've going on there) while other women and men have decided to weigh their options by putting marriage on hold and go after their careers. Cause marriage is well good but at the end of the day; it doesn't have to tie you down and define you. MARRIED OR NOT OUR PATHS ARE DIFFERENT NOT ALL OF US HAVE TO GET MARRIED...TO PROVE A POINT. So next time that aunt asks you, "When  are you getting married?" Look them in the eye and say, "Do you have anyone in mind?"  Hahahaha.

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